Two men were talking. The first man said, “I’m going to take my wife to Australia for our twentieth anniversary.”
The second man asked, “What are you going to do for your twenty-fifth anniversary, then?”
The first man said, “I’m going back to pick her up.”
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An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
“Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”
The farmer scratched his grizzled head.
“Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”
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There was a couple married for 40 years and on the 40th anniversary the wife saw the husband crying and she told him “honey i never knew that after 40 years you would still love me the same way you did 40 years ago”.
The husband looks at the wife and asks her “honey, do you remember 40 years ago when your father caught us behind the barn naked?”
And the wife says yes, the man replies do you remember what your father told me that day?
She replies no.
The husband replies he told me that if I don’t marry you he would have me locked up in prision for 40 years.
The wife looks at the husband and says “and?”
So the husband replies “Oh! boy, I could of been a free man by now”
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Tom was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary.
“Tom!! Tom!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?”
Tom put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?”
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