Priceless Jokes
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary stopped beside him on her new shiny bike.
“Nice bike” the cop said “did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yep,” the little girl said, “he sure did!”
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying “Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it.”
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, “Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
Tags: comedy, fun, awesome, humor, jokes, laugh, entertainment
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Jack and jill went up the hill,
to smoke some marajuana,
jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked jill if she wanna.
jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun,
but stupid jill,
forgot the pill,
and now they have a son
Tags: fun, silly, bored, allcrazy, cool, allcrazy jokes, funny
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This 10 year old boy is skateboarding in the park he has a smoke hanging out his mouth he goes by a old man sitting on a park bench the old man notices this and says to the boy when did u start smoking the kid says at 7 and the kid says i ve also had sex the old man says at what age the kid says i CAN T REMEMBER I WAS TO DRUNK!
Tags: humour, awesome, funread, humor, laugh, joke, cool
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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They re all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. “I want to be gorgeous,” and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says “I want to be gorgeous too.”
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: ” Make em all ugly again.”
Tags: best, humour, awesome, amazing, laugh, joke, allcrazy
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Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can t believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping-Love you!”
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,”Son…what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 A.M.., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
“So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
“Leave me alone, lady, I m married!”
>> > >>>Broken furniture - $85.26
>> > >>>Hot Breakfast - $4.20
>> > >>>Red Rose bud -$3.00
>> > >>>Two Aspirins -$.38
>> > >>>Saying the right thing, at the right time………Priceless.
Tags: haha, awesome, silly, allcrazy, humour, joke, allcrazy jokes
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