George Bush Jokes
Three brothers Neil, Jeb and Dubya, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard.
“Come have a look over here”, says Neil, “It’s Obidiah Jones’ grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87.”
“That’s nothing”, says Jeb, “here’s one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died.”
Just then, Dubya yells out, “But here’s a fella that died when he was 145 years old!”
“What was his name?” asks Neil.
Dubya lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, “Miles, from Austin.”
Tags: laugh, cool, interesting, funny, humor, amazing, fun
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George W. was visiting a Florida elementary school while a fifth grade class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Bush if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word “tragedy.”
Mr.Bush asks the class for “an example of a tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend, who lives next door, was playing in the street and a car came along and ran over him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says George W. “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explained George W. “that’s what we would call a Great Loss.”
The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.
Mr.Bush searches the room, “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, in the back of the room a small boy raises his hand, in a quiet voice he says, “If you and your lawyers, Mr.Bush were to be eaten by a pack of hungry 20 foot alligators, that would certainly be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic,” exclaims George W., “that’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “it must be a tragedy, because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss.”
Tags: amazing, timewaster, cool, entertainment, humor, bored, haha
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George W Bush, back when he was a “drinking man”, walked into a bar.
He ordered five beers and drank them all down.
He then ordered four beers and proceeded to drink them as well.
With a confused look on his face, he stared down at the empty beer bottles in front of him.
He ordered another three beers and finished them of as before.
Now he looked really confused.
Looking around in bewilderment, he cautiously ordered another two.
The bartender, curious at the young George W’s confusion asked him what was the matter, to which George W replied ‘I don’t know what’s going on but, the less beers I drink, the more drunk I get’.
Tags: interesting, jokes, funny, cool, amazing, silly, allcrazy jokes
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Saddam Hussein and George Dubya Bush met up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process.
When George Dubya sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he’s finally had enough. “I’m going back home!” he tells the Iraqi. “We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.
As the 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush’s chair and prepares himself for the Yank’s revenge.
They begin talking and George Dubya presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush sniggers.
A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. “Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”
Bush then says through tears of laughter, “WHAT Baghdad?”
Tags: funny, amazing, best, entertainment, humor, bored, timewaster
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George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when he tripped, fell over a bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, “I sure would like to go to Disneyland.” George said, “No problem. I’ll take you there on Air Force One.”
The second kid said, “I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan’s.” George said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”
The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!” George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, “But you don’t look like you are injured.”
The kid says, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!”
Tags: jokes, silly, laugh, interesting, awesome, cool, amazing
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