George Bush Jokes
George W Bush, back when he was a “drinking man”, walked into a bar.
He ordered five beers and drank them all down.
He then ordered four beers and proceeded to drink them as well.
With a confused look on his face, he stared down at the empty beer bottles in front of him.
He ordered another three beers and finished them of as before.
Now he looked really confused.
Looking around in bewilderment, he cautiously ordered another two.
The bartender, curious at the young George W’s confusion asked him what was the matter, to which George W replied ‘I don’t know what’s going on but, the less beers I drink, the more drunk I get’.
Tags: cool, amazing, funny, allcrazy jokes, jokes, interesting, silly
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Saddam Hussein and George Dubya Bush met up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process.
When George Dubya sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he’s finally had enough. “I’m going back home!” he tells the Iraqi. “We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.
As the 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush’s chair and prepares himself for the Yank’s revenge.
They begin talking and George Dubya presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush sniggers.
A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. “Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”
Bush then says through tears of laughter, “WHAT Baghdad?”
Tags: funny, entertainment, timewaster, amazing, bored, best, humor
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George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when he tripped, fell over a bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, “I sure would like to go to Disneyland.” George said, “No problem. I’ll take you there on Air Force One.”
The second kid said, “I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan’s.” George said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”
The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!” George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, “But you don’t look like you are injured.”
The kid says, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!”
Tags: laugh, interesting, amazing, cool, jokes, awesome, silly
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George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, and Kathrine Harris go fishing on the lake by George W.’s ranch. While speeding across the lake they hit a tree trunk that cracks a hole in the bottom of the boat. The boat starts to sink so they look for life preservers and find only one.
George W. Bush says: “I’m the President selected by the Supreme Court. The people need me to protect the nation from the new world order and the growth of the new economy and computers and such.”
John Ashcroft says: “I’m the Attorney General and as the nations’s chief law enforcement officer I must live so that there will be no fear or panic in the streets, if you two shall die. And besides I have to outlaw abortion, affirmative action, campaign finance reform, environmental protection, and same sex marriages to save the moral fiber of this country.”
Finally, Kathrine Harris says: “I’m the Florida Secretary of State and the state Republican Chairwoman, and I must survive so that I can deliver the votes needed by all the Republican officials throughout the state, and disenfranchise those minorities who vote for Democrats, so that Republicans may continue to be elected even though more people vote for Democrats.”
And the three of them all agree that each has very good and moral arguments for the life preserver, so that they decide the only fair way to decide is by a vote. They cut up three squares of paper and vote by secret ballot. Then they open the ballots to tally them.
The first ballot says “George W. Bush - one vote,” the second ballot says “John Ashcroft - one vote”, and the third ballot says “Kathryn Harris - 37 votes.”
Tags: humor, best, jokes, fun, allcrazy, funread, comedy
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President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American’s standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed “YES” 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval.
Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his “red brothers”. At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs about how they came to select the new name given to the President. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
Tags: allcrazy, funread, bored, funny, interesting, humour, awesome
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