Funny Redneck Jokes
If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father… and your uncle…”
If you ever said the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”
Tags: entertainment, cool, awesome, allcrazy, best, bored, fun
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Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.
“Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin’ walkin’ down Main Street wearin’ nothin’ but your gunbelt and boots?”
“Well Sheriff, it’s a long story.”
“I ain’t going nowhere”, said the Sheriff.
“Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin’ kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, ‘Why don’t we go out to the barn?’ So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin’ and smoochin’ and Mary Lou said, ‘Why don’t we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.’ So we did.” He continued,
“We started cuddlin’ and smoochin’ some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread her legs apart and said
‘Okay,Billy-Bob, go to town’.
Tags: interesting, humor, laugh, cool, amazing, entertainment, haha
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The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.
This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occured, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, “Oh, Shit”.
Only the state of Montana was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
“Hold my beer and watch this!”
Tags: allcrazy jokes, best, comedy, bored, humour, jokes, timewaster
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“You’ve just had your twelvth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?”
“Phil”
“But you named the last eleven phil”
“Yeah its great. I say phil go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say phil come for dinner, they all come for dinner.”
“But what if you only want one of them?”
“Oh! Then I call them by thier last name.”
Tags: fun, comedy, humour, entertainment, best, funread, haha
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A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.
The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.
“What’s that Paw?” The boy asked.
“I ain’t never did see nothin’ like that in my life” Replied the father.
Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.
The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.
They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.
The father looks at his son and says “Go get your Maw !”
Tags: awesome, interesting, timewaster, humour, silly, entertainment, laugh
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