Clean Funny Jokes
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.”
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Tags: silly, joke, jokes, allcrazy, awesome, interesting, funny
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Jim was 26 over par by the eighth hole, had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough, when his caddy coughed during a 12-inch putt. Jim exploded.
“You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world!” he screamed.
“I doubt it,” replied the caddy. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”
Tags: awesome, allcrazy jokes, comedy, allcrazy, amazing, timewaster, bored
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When you are sad . . . I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking weasel who made you sad.
When you are scared . . . I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, . . . I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
When you are confused . . . I will use little words to explain it to you.
When you are lost . . . I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.
When you are sick . . . I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.
And when you fall . . . I will point and laugh at you.
This is my oath . . . I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because you’re my friend. And the whole reason people have friends is to have fun.
Tags: best, laugh, interesting, timewaster, joke, cool, funread
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1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Tags: haha, awesome, funread, humour, interesting, joke, jokes
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An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.
The young man finally said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
Tags: cool, laugh, timewaster, funread, amazing, comedy, awesome
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