Christian Clean Jokes
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the
foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on
either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked
up, stood beside him and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”
“Good morning, Pastor,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
“Pastor McGhee, what is this?” Alex asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he finally managed to ask, “Which one, the 9:00 or 10:30 service?
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After dying in a car crash, three friends go to
Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same
question: “When you are in your casket, and friends
and family are mourning over you, what would you like
to hear them say about you?”
The first guy immediately responds, “I would like to
hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of
my time, and a great family man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was
a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a
huge difference in the children of tomorrow.”
The last guy thinks a minute and replies, “I guess
I’d like to hear them say, ‘Look, he’s moving!”
Tags: silly, timewaster, humour, comedy, joke, jokes, fun
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Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning.
It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked… “doesn’t it look like an artist painted this scenery?
Did you know God painted this just for you?”
Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him
“What makes you say God did this with his left hand?”
“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God’s right hand!”
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As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…
But please don’t shove me either!”
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A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers,
“Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night’s sleep.”
Suddenly he looked up and shouted, “And don’t forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!”
“There is no need to shout like that,” said his mother. “God isn’t deaf.”
“No,” said the little boy, “but Grandma is.”
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