Brunette: Today is my niece s birthday. Do you wanna come to her party?
Blonde: What day is today?
Brunette: January 11.
Blonde: Oh I m sorry for your niece.
Brunette: What, why?
Blonde: Since her birthday is in January, she has to wait a whole year til her next birthday.
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Helen: Mum, do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice teapot.
Mum: But I’ve got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven’t. I’ve just dropped it.
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Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong.
“I’ll never understand women” said Joe. “The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.”
“Wow! That’s quite some gift” said the bartender. “So why are you so dejected?”
“Well I thought about it for a while” said Joe, “and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won’t even speak to me!”
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A couple, both born the same year and month, were celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been so loving she would grant them each one wish.
Very excited, the wife said that since she had already visited most of North America in her RV she would like to visit Europe.
The fairy waved her magic wand; airline tickets instantly appeared in her hand.
Then it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said with a sly look, “Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy waved her wand, and presto, he was 90.
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man1: I got my wife a vcp
man2: Don t you mean a vcr”?
man1:”No, a vcp….. very cheap present!
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