How you can tell if a person’s not been to synag..
How you can tell that the person next to you has not been to synagogue too often?
1. “Hey, my book is back to front.”
2. “Isn’t it impolite to talk when the minister is talking?”
3. “I get the standing and the sitting bit, but when do we kneel?”
4. “Does your prayer book have writing in a funny looking alphabet, too?”
5. “Why do people keep coming in even after the service starts? Didn’t they know what time it starts?”
6. “Do people always get up and walk out just before the rabbi gives his sermon?”
7. “This food after the service is really good, but wouldn’t it be better if people waited in line and then only took a little at a time?”
8. “Hey, I remember this part from ‘Fiddler on the Roof’.”
9. “Who brings kids to a place like this?”
10. “You there, slow down, you’re getting ahead of the soloist!”
11. “Why am I the only guy in the dress circle?”
12. “You’d think nobody has ever seen a mobile phone.”
13. “It’s show time! They’re opening the curtains.”
14. “Pardon me, but you have some string hanging down from your scarf.”
15. “The boy can’t be more than 12 or 13 - and they let him read?”
16. “When do they take up the collection?”
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